Suffering and Why?

Today, in 6th grade homeroom Cameron's friend tearfully shared that his mom might only live a few more weeks.  The small group of students and teacher gathered around him, placed their hands on his shoulders and prayed.  It's heartbreaking.  I recently received a Caringbridge update about a 6 year old little girl battling cancer.  Her mom says the cancer is spreading fast and if the treatment doesn't work and the scans in 3 weeks don't show that the cancer is stable or reduced then their battle is over.  The mother of a young man who died this summer in an "accident" came into our Sunday school class this week.  When I see her I wonder how she is really doing.  She seems strong.  I wonder if I would be that strong.  I quietly hope that I never have to go through what she is going through.  The pastor was teaching on God's sovereignty....how those in the midst of suffering don't always want to hear that God is in control and sovereign over every circumstance.  For them, the suffering doesn't line up with a loving God.  I decided in the last year or so to take the word "WHY?" out of my vocabulary.  To ask why is really pointless because only God knows why.  We are not always given a fast and clear answer to why someone is suffering.  It causes more hurt to try to figure out God's plan and even more damage to try to explain to someone "why" God is allowing them to suffer.  That is when trust and truth and fear collide for me.  I trust God's word..."do not fear", "do not be afraid", "for I know the plans I have for you"....and I know the truth that God is loving, His ways are perfect and that we live in a fallen world full of suffering but not one second is out of His control.  And still I pray for protection and health for my family while fearful of the suffering that so many around us are going through.