Suffering and Why?

Today, in 6th grade homeroom Cameron's friend tearfully shared that his mom might only live a few more weeks.  The small group of students and teacher gathered around him, placed their hands on his shoulders and prayed.  It's heartbreaking.  I recently received a Caringbridge update about a 6 year old little girl battling cancer.  Her mom says the cancer is spreading fast and if the treatment doesn't work and the scans in 3 weeks don't show that the cancer is stable or reduced then their battle is over.  The mother of a young man who died this summer in an "accident" came into our Sunday school class this week.  When I see her I wonder how she is really doing.  She seems strong.  I wonder if I would be that strong.  I quietly hope that I never have to go through what she is going through.  The pastor was teaching on God's sovereignty....how those in the midst of suffering don't always want to hear that God is in control and sovereign over every circumstance.  For them, the suffering doesn't line up with a loving God.  I decided in the last year or so to take the word "WHY?" out of my vocabulary.  To ask why is really pointless because only God knows why.  We are not always given a fast and clear answer to why someone is suffering.  It causes more hurt to try to figure out God's plan and even more damage to try to explain to someone "why" God is allowing them to suffer.  That is when trust and truth and fear collide for me.  I trust God's word..."do not fear", "do not be afraid", "for I know the plans I have for you"....and I know the truth that God is loving, His ways are perfect and that we live in a fallen world full of suffering but not one second is out of His control.  And still I pray for protection and health for my family while fearful of the suffering that so many around us are going through.

The Wedding

It was a beautiful day...the flowers, girls in their dresses, boys in their tuxedos...every detail was thought of.  It was a beautiful day because my brother has found love.  She takes care of him.  He adores her.  It was a beautiful day because two very special people who began their friendship many years ago made the commitment before God to love for the rest of their lives. 

The weekend started with a dinner hosted by my parents.  Again, every detail was thought of....the blessing David gave, the poem my dad wrote, the pound cakes and key lime pies my mom made, games for the kids and a great slideshow of John and Asheley growing up together.  We were thankful that both my grandmothers and great aunt were there..as well as Asheley's family and their close friends. 

The ceremony brought back memories of our wedding there 15 years ago.  Asheley and John thought of every detail...from cupcakes to koozies!  The bride was gorgeous, the groom was handsome, the food was fabulous, the children were adorable and two became one in a Christian marriage...it was a beautiful day!

Time goes by too fast....

Well, I've finally started to blog...I have wanted to for awhile mainly for my own use to keep record of all the daily Collins activity that I don't seem to have time to write down with a pen.  For years I have kept journals.  I have one for each of the kids to have when they are grown but it seems I only write in those every six months or more.  This summer I opened up the journals to write and noticed that the last time I had written was the same exact day a year earlier.  We were at Holden.  It seems the only time I "have" to write is at the beach...away from the daily stuff.

So hopefully here I can write more often.  Grace will be 2 in a few months.  She does something cute almost every minute of the day!  Ben lost his first tooth this week and he literally lost it!  Hopefully in his cereal bowl but he probably swallowed it.  Lindsey is quietly turning into a young lady.  Cameron turned 12 this summer.  I still can't believe he is in middle school.

In the last few weeks, we've started 6th grade, 3rd grade and Kindergarten.  We have been there to see Uncle John and Aunt Asheley get married, seen our great-grandmother recover from surgery, grieved over the loss of a young mother, shown the horror of Sept. 11, 2001 to our son who was only 2 on that day, prayed for someone battling addiction and learned of yet another person who begins their battle with cancer.

I thank God every night when praying with the kids for another day that our family is healthy and safe.  Hopefully on this blog I can capture a few memories and God's faithfulness to our family of 6.....time goes by too fast!